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Samantha Sacchi

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What is going on with fear and what are we so scared of?

Are we so stressed and anxious because our brain is not yet equipped to deal with the pace and challenges of life nowadays? How are we being educated and trained to deal with our current challenges?

These were my thoughts as I was getting deep into the research of fear for The Self Club’s first talk.

Are you aware of how fast we have evolved socially, culturally and economically in the past 100 years? One hundred years ago, I couldn’t vote. One hundred years ago, nothing of what I do in my day to day existed.

We’ve evolved more than our brain and educational systems have been able to keep up with.

What are the consequences of having our brain’s default “Survival Mode” that our ancestors thrived on, driving our decisions in today’s world?

We have very, very old mechanisms on which our brain and body function, and many of them simply don’t work anymore in today’s society. Of course this applies also to mentality and beliefs, but also to our physical functioning.

The good news is that, as the magically conscious beings that we humans are, we have the capacity to become aware and re-program ourselves. They should teach us that the brain is programmable when we are growing up in that class in school that never existed called “How to be human” or “Self-Management” class. Take my word on it, it’s coming. The future is emotionally intelligent. And that is our only way forward.

Consciousness is the superpower most of us haven’t discovered yet. You are only a victim of what you are not conscious of.

If we all knew our brain was programmable, big corporations and all marketing and advertising would lose a lot of power, so not much interest there on their behalf. But we’ll get there slowly when people like you start to realize the power you possess.

I’ll talk about many things here, not diving too far in. Let’s begin.

Let us begin to deconstruct fear:

The definition of fear in the dictionary is, “An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.”

Fear is a wonderful survival mechanism created so we are as efficient as possible in the eyes of danger.

The amygdala (in our brain) detects a threat with information that passes through the senses, and compares it to intrinsic emotional memories to see if it matches any of its registered “threats” that have been programmed into it.

This is completely instantaneous, taking only 12 milliseconds. And it has nothing to do with your conscious thought. It just happens, whether you like it or not, like breathing or blinking. Like when someone pops out from behind the door and scares you. You have no control over the reaction, it just happens.

And when this happens, automatically the physical reaction comes in. We become hyper alert, pupils dilate, breathing accelerate, muscles stiffen, heart rate goes up, blood flow increases, non-vital organs (like intestines) slow down and irrational behavior might take place.

All this, with you having no choice or say, again, independent from thought or consciousness.

We learn fear.

I won’t get into more neurological details. But what I want to get to is that the amygdala needs to have a reference to know what is dangerous. Our fear is conditioned — we learn it.

When the toddler first sticks her finger into the electrical socket, she’s not scared. She’s open and free, simply experimenting. Depending on the intensity and duration of the pain, it will register a big neuroassociation or program that goes “socket = pain”. Our biggest lessons often come from pain.

And what’s even more fascinating, we also learn fear through observation and instruction. So it’s not only about things that have threatened us or personally caused us pain, but also to those around us. If someone around us has been hurt in some way, we might register that as a threat as well.

If my cousin or good friend got in a motorcycle accident, I might create a fear towards motorcycle because my amygdala unconsciously registered it as a threat.

Also, if I grew up hearing my parents or the media tell me something is dangerous, that will be programmed in there as well. Injecting fear is the most widely used form of manipulation throughout all of history; for governments, religions, and even parents with their children. Because fear is so deeply rooted in your unconscious, that you are a slave to whatever you fear.

So everything you grew up listening to, all the messages you received, the television you watched; all that programmed your brain slowly. What messages of fear might there have been? Can you recall what you were taught to fear?

Awareness is the first step.

Freedom is what you do with what has been done to you.

Jean paul sartre

The Comfort zone 

So… as you began to experience the world and learn about it and, your brain started making connections, finding patterns and creating programs and conditioning in your mind, your comfort zone began taking shape.

The comfort zone is the safest space. It is the space where, in your brain, you take the least risk of feeling pain or putting yourself in danger. The space where you are least likely to feel fearful. The area where it feels like you have some kind of control.

Notice the word ‘feel’ is in italics. Because it is not real. But your brain is under the illusion that it has control. And thus, that is the reality you live in.

Control over something external is always an illusion because anything can change any moment without your consent. The only thing you can really ever control (and not always) is what you think and do. But the point is that the brain believes it, thus it’s true. Your thoughts create your reality.

So this comfort zone, feels really nice, safe, and under control.

And if your aspiration is merely to survive in this scary world, then it’s ok, you can stay there. We all need a comfort zone, it’s important. But all growth always happens outside of your comfort zone, even if it’s only a little bit. It is new experiences, knowledge, and competencies that expand us.

Is it scary to think you’re not in control? Where is it difficult to give up control?

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

What do I do about fear- and its cousin; anxiety, and stress?

One of the most fascinating confirmations of the 20th century is neuroplasticity; the brains ability to change and adapt. Rewiring it requires effort, but it is not as hard as we imagine. A lot of fears we have in today’s world are no longer about real existing threats. We have taken old mechanisms of survival and are applying them to incoherent situations.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, when the response to fear is disproportionate or lasts much longer than what is normally expected from the situation — where it interferes with an person’s well-being and daily functioning — it is considered an anxiety disorder.

We feel fear and have the ability to create fear response just using our imagination. We’re either obsessed that the future is going to be like the past and we are terrified of that pain, or we imagine crazy scenarios that don’t exist or have never happened. Wait, what? Neither of those things are real in the present. What’s going on?

And the problem is all about focus. No amount of worry nor anxiety can change the past nor the future. When the focus is in the wrong place, we go to all the wrong places.

It’s like snowboarding. I was taught you have to look in the direction you want to go, even if it’s counterintuitive at first (because you want to see where you’re actually going even though it’s not helpful). And eventually your body and board follow the direction of your eyes. It’s like magic.

Well, the same happens with the brain. Your focus creates your direction. Where you focus, shapes your reality. Nothing is ever good or bad, it just depends on how you look at it, or what you’re focusing on.

Where to shift your focus for different kinds of fears:

Fear of loss:

“Every choice is sacrifice.” When we have to choose something, if we focus too much on what we’re losing or ‘sacrificing’, we’ll never find the courage to take the risk. What if I don’t find a better job? Oh, but my current colleagues are so nice. But this apartment is so cozy and warm. Even though I’m miserable with him, what if I don’t find someone better?

But if you focus on what you might GAIN. Then it’s a totally different story. How would it be if it works out? What’s the best case scenario? What experience and lessons will you get if it doesn’t?

Fear of choosing or FOMO:

Similarly, in this world of infinite possibilities, the opportunity cost of every choice is so high, we’re often paralyzed. We don’t choose. But if your focus is always on the opportunity cost, or the other options you might have, and how they might be better, then you’ll never have anything. Stop thinking about the ‘possibilities’ and focus on what’s real. What do you want? How does it look like? Where do you find enjoyment and joy?

Fear of failure, rejection or judgment:

We all what to have some level of success, whatever that means to us. And we all need to belong. We are relational human begins with a need for love. Now… If your focus is disproportionately on what people think, Roger, we have a problem. In this case, you need to take a look at a few things:

1. Your definition of failure and your definition of success. What is your metric (how will you measure it)? Seriously, ask yourself the questions.

2. If you’re scared of other’s judgments. How are you scared you will be judged? Do you judge others? Are you judging yourself? What’s the worst that can happen?

3. If you’re scared of rejection, what would happen if you are rejected? Do you feel whole and loved on your own? Do you love yourself, or do you depend on others to feel worthy and enough? Focus on developing your self-confidence and self-love.

My antidotes to fear:

Antidote number 1: Self-acceptance, self-love, self-confidence. 

We often confuse “fear” for lack of self-esteem. Which in fact, is just a matter of focus. Change how you see yourself and how you see your fears will change. Not because they will disappear, but because you will find the courage and energy to overcome it. 

Antidote numer 2: Optimism and gratitude

Gratitude is the instant focus shifter. We live in the best time possible to be alive in terms of health, lifespan, the economy, technology, and possibilities yet the ones who have the most are often the most unhappy. What? What is going on? Clearly, there is a problem because we are focusing on the wrong thing.

What are you thankful for today? What do you feel lucky and privileged about? How would life look if I made choices that made me the happiest? What’s the best thing that could happen today? Or this month?

Antidote number 3: ACTION

Get out of your head. And just do it. Overthinking leads nowhere. Ever. So you have to learn to feel the fear and do it anyway. It doesn’t have to feel good or comfortable. You just train yourself to do it anyway, as if you had no choice. And you’ll see, you’ll make it out alive. Kill your excuses with action.

Antidote number 4: Trust.

Trust in yourself. Trust in your intuition. Trust in something bigger than you. 

Let go of control. Because if you really think you’re in control or you’re as big as it gets, then you have to take a good look at your ego. There is SO much you will never understand. Make life a little simpler and just let go and have a little faith.


Whatever you do, do what it takes to overcome your fears, slowly, one little step at a time. Overcoming one huge fear seems impossible, but if you break it down and take baby steps, you’ll see it was easier than it seemed in your head.

And remember, you don’t have to do it on your own. Reach out. We are certainly here for you.

Listen to me very carefully, if you’re ever not happy, it better not be because of fear.

Wise person

Do you know what it takes to break a bad habit or a rut?

We do. And it is not easy.

When you hear the word ‘Detox’, do you think diet, losing weight, or some kind of summer fad? Makes sense. I totally get you. I did too.

That is until I did a 3-week cleanse that completely changed my relationship with my body, with food, with hunger and with my own health. This was back when I studied holistic nutrition.

After offering 21-day cleanses back in Spain, I have now created a simple 1-week program aiming for the same results. Short, sweet and experiential.

This is not really the typical Detox. This is about consciousness. I am all about turning off the auto-pilot. This is a space to learn. Yes, you will learn about food, but mostly this is a space to learn about yourself.

You are fully responsible for your body, and I want you to take that power back. Turning off the auto-pilot in any aspect of our lives requires some serious self-awareness, it requieres observation and asking the right questions.

We offer you a space and time to do precisely this.

There is a massive information overload in the world, especially with regards to food. There are so many interests, fads, politics, marketing, so many contradictory messages.

The media manipulates the conclusions of scientific studies in ridiculous ways and the many studies are sponsored by major food companies, already creating a bias to what they are supposed to discover. 

Many don’t know what to believe. So many people around ask me questions or ask me for advice. Samantha, “Is this good?” or “Should I eat this?” But I realise we are all just missing a little basic information.

And most importantly of all: I don’t have the answer. YOU have the answer. Ultimately, your body knows more than any doctor, nutritionists or study. Ultimately, no matter the advice or information you learn about, the most important thing is to learn to listen to your own body.

I want to reconnect you with your body’s own wisdom. Trust me, it’s there. We just weren’t taught to listen.

Food is simply our tool. Food is what we will experiment with in the laboratory of our own bodies this week. 

Yes, this will attract people looking to lose weight or looking to feel more cleansed. And both might happen. But those will be consequences of the experience. But not the initial objective.

What the program does:

1- Educate you. This will give you some basic food knowledge so that you can make food choices with consciousness, from a place of knowledge, instead of a place of ignorance and manipulative advertising.

2- Challenges you. We want you to break our usual eating habits. We don’t want this to be easy. We need you to discover new physical sensations so you can actually FEEL something with your body, not only understand it with your mind.

3- Begin to re-educate your intestinal microflora: Our gut’s microbiome are the base of our physical and mental health. We want to starve some of the bad bacteria in our gut, and start replacing them with good bacteria. And you can learn the habits to continue to do this. 

4- Give you tools for the rest of your life: Hopefully the insight you gain from this process will give you important tools to make better food and body choices.

If you’re thinking “Yes Samantha, this sounds wonderful, but HOW will you do all of this?!”

Simple. It is a online webinar experience that lasts 7 days, with 4 live online sessions (that you can also watch later).

We do it in groups. Why? Because we feed off each other, we motivate each other and we feel a commitment and solidarity that we usually don’t when we’re doing this on our own. You are most certainly not alone. We never are.

This program is just the beginning. What happens after is up to you. It always is.

Sound juicy?

Check the next dates!

Disclosure: This program is not magic: Magic may occur, but is not bound to.

Need some recipe inspiration?

I hate hurrying.

But I used to hurry, all the time. It was like part of my default settings. Settings that I urgently need to modify if I want to find peace within myself or lead a happy life.

One of the phrases that seem to follow me everywhere is: “Trust the process.”

Trust the process. It sounds sweet. I am so familiar with that phrase and it means so much to me. But I’m so curious how you, whoever you are reading this, interprets it. 

Let me explain to you why enjoying the process is the most important thing you’ll ever do in your entire life and of course, how to do it, or at least try and begin to create the mindset to do so.

It all begins with understanding these the words: ‘Trust’, ‘The’, and ‘Process’. Why do we care about this? Mainly because focusing on results might make us miss out on our actual life.

You might already have a hunch. But remember, true knowing, lies not in words nor in the mind, but in your actions. So do you really know? 

Part 1: TRUST

Oh trust. The almighty trust. Trust is the opposite of control. That ego-derived impulse, that need to know. That need to have life (or someone) on a leash somehow. That search for security. That fear-driven need that can’t ever let go.

The ego tries to desperately to overcompensate for how little control we really have. Few can actually recognize or admit this to themselves.

And those people who simply can’t let go of control (you know exactly who you are), let me remind you of the not-so-obvious truths nobody taught us: There isn’t much we actually control.

We can’t control anything except what we do. We can’t control who we are born as, now where or when. We can’t control the language we learn growing up. We can’t control who we meet or don’t meet. We can’t control who will hire us. We can’t control the economy. We can’t control the government. We can’t control what happens to us. We can’t control when we die.

We might be able to have some influence on it… but control? Forget it. It is pure illusion. Especially not from the ego-mind that the control we are talking about stems from. You can’t even control how you feel or what you think. You can learn to understand and manage your thoughts and emotions, but not fully control them.

We can choose the party we go to, but we can’t control who will be there. We can choose the jobs we apply to, but we can’t control if they will choose us. We can decide we want to be with someone, but we can’t control if they will want to be with us in return.

All your power lies in the beautiful balance between this dichotomy: Embracing fully what is in your control and letting go and trusting all that is outside of it.

So the good news is, you can let go. You can TRUST that ultimately it is not all up to you, whether you believe in something bigger than you or want to leave it to pure chance, making the choices.

As my existentialist soul buddy Jean Paul (Sartre) defined freedom;

“Freedom is what you do with what has been done to you.”

Jean PaUl Sartre

Amen Jean Paul, amen.

And the things that have been done to you, the uncontrollable parts of your oh so deliciously mysterious life are part your life you will simply have to accept and trust. You can get angry, not like them, and want to change them all. Fantastic, that could very well be a part of your process.

What you actually do, that is what is up to you. That is, all the choices you make, like what you say, what attitude or perspective you adopt, where you go, who you hang out with, what you decide to believe…

The problem is that we are focusing too much on the things we can’t control and not enough on the things we DO control: US.

If you focus on what other people do or don’t do (it’s called gossip) or on the fact that you didn’t get into a certain school, than you are not focusing enough on what you can do about it.

The sooner you accept what is out of your control, the sooner you can shift your focus to what’s really important; what you can do about it.

To really be able to trust, you have to become keenly aware of your inability to trust. Dive into it, and find your true ‘area’ or control and influence. And focus on that, continuously. Over and over again. And catch your mind every time it wants to control something it can’t.

Ultimately, trust is something you must teach yourself to feel. It might not come as naturally to all of us, but it is an essential part of our well-being. One must condition the Self to learn to trust.

To trust, you must let go. You must surrender at least a part of yourself to something else outside of yourself. And this… this letting go, it might take a lot of work.

The illusion of control can become and is for some such a heavy burden to carry. And letting it go can provide huge relief from the anxiety and stress that clouds our modern-day life.

For me, letting go of control has been so painful and difficult, but one of the most freeing experiences and sensations. And trust, opens the doors of love. That, however, is talk for another time.


Part 2: THE

The. It is not a process. It is the process. It is your process. The process you came here to live. There are very specific lessons you must learn here on your life on Earth.

Wait, did you think this was all just a coincidence? No. It’s the coincidence. The ultimate coincidence of you being alive in this shape and form, in this time and space, in this time in history, with that past, and those emotions, and those thoughts, and those tastes and that restlessness inside of you that doesn’t let you sleep (if that’s your case).

Do you know how specific you are? Do you know exactly how much of “a coincidence” you really are? It’s ridiculous. Do you know how many things had to happen so that YOU were born? I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

Did you ever think about that? While I’m here having epiphanies over the fact that I can breathe and look at myself in the mirror, you might just be there taking all that breathing and heart-pumping for granted.

And many people don’t realise the preciousness of life, until some major life-changing thing happens, like an accident, an illness or the loss of a loved one. It often takes a trigger like that to really get slapped in the face and be like ‘woah’. 

And maybe I’m crazy, high on life. Maybe that’s why I always disliked drugs. I thought reality with my full senses open, untouched, heightened by the awareness of my own consciousness was always enough to take me to an elevated state of bliss. I can’t help it. It’s just so natural to me.

That’s how I feel about my process. The more aware I become, the more I see how it all fits together, and the more I trust it, even when I don’t understand it. It’s a feeling that feeds itself.


Part 3: PROCESS

For my purposes right now, process is the opposite of result. A process leads to a result, yes. But there is no result without a process. 

Process is the step by step by step by step. It is is small, daily actions, and thoughts and emotions and moments and people and circumstances that slowly and mysteriously take you on a journey.

Sometimes the process itself might seem completely irregular, non-linear, or irrational. Or, like many cases, can only be understood in retrospect. So we are back to the fact that we have to trust it.

Forget the results. Detach yourself from them. You can have a goal. A goal is essential because it gives a sense of direction to your process. But the result, you can never know.

Getting denied that promotion might fuel enough frustration that you finally end up quitting and pursing your dream. Failing your first business might lead you to meeting your next business partner or your life partner. Who knows. We most certainly usually don’t.

The process has to happen. Let it happen. Sometimes 2 plus 2 equals magic.

Conclusion:

All of life happens one day at a time, one minute at a time. Every result happens one decision at a time. You can’t shortcut any of it.

That’s what mindfulness is all about. Accepting and being fully in the now. The only place anything ever happens. Right now. It is now, and only now, you have power. 

Can you stop and think for one moment all the wheels had to turn in your life so that you ended up sitting in the place you’re sitting right now reading this article?

Have you not understood how amazing it is to be alive yet? The process of life is magical. And the more conscious we become of that, the more awe-inspiring life can become. At least that’s how it has been for me.

I will tell you one thing. Trusting myself, trusting the process, trusting my process, has been one of the central and most important parts of my life. It has allowed for life to become my best friend.

Remember to trust the process. Join the club.

It is no coincidence.

We made it to Australia. 11 years later. Since we met, two teenagers in Florence, we have traveled and lived in countless cities and countries, we have had life-changing relationships, and a most importantly, an evolution of the Self that has led us to this point.

We are both natural investigators of the Self. And we both aspire to understand and teach others about the nature of human psychology and human behavior so that we can take advantage of this life fully.

This crazy journey called life led us here: Together in Australia, with a beautiful backpack of experience, knowledge, enthusiasm and contagious energy (we’ve been told). 

We are going all in and trusting fully the deep desire we have to create tools, experiences, and content that educates and helps others.  A fascinating challenge and risk – the kind that our adventurous nature craves, and that our mind and emotions now feel prepared for, after much inner work.

An adventure that we think will certainly be worth it – no matter the outcome.

We’re already enjoying the challenges of moving to a new country and starting from scratch, adapting culturally, meeting new people, and exploring possibilities

Our endless conversations about life, human beings, culture and possibility has been a key part of the adaptation process!

In all those conversations, started doing what we love most: getting creative with self-development. we carefully curated interactive workshops that combine theory with practice. We are creating amazing spaces for you to learn about your own Self in a different way, about others, and become more conscious humans and leaders in our day to day!

When we thought about writing a welcome article, we decided to do one of the main things that led us where we are: Ask each other questions!

We wrote 7 questions, answered them separately and recorded our reactions on camera. 

Questions are powerful tools that open different doors for us every time. They trigger a few our all time favorite aspects of being human:

1 – Honesty, transparency, and authenticity: Values that fuel our existence.

2 – Vulnerability: A necessary ingredient that helped us transcend the superficial and feel real connection and depth that leads to meaning.

3 – Emotions and our capacity to feel: One of the most beautiful expressions of the Self, that we must still learn to understand, work with and manage to have a healthy relationship with them.

4 – Friendship and connection: The glue of human interactions that got us here. Human relationships are at the core of the human experience. They nurture us, heal us, challenge us, mirror us, and allow us to grow and thrive. Healthy ones, of course.

Our questions and our answers:

1. In 3 sentences, what was your first impression of her?

Samantha said:
“From what I can remember, I didn’t really understand her or her motives. She seemed a bit overly enthusiastic and like too involved before I even knew her well. Not very usual for Europeans (generalizing here). She had a positive, enthusiastic energy, but I I was just a little sketchy for some reason and didn’t have the best impression.”

Maria said:
“When we met we were part of two different groups. I was a European searching for Latin spirit, which she has obviously in her blood and she, on the other hand was searching for Europeanattitude that I should have in blood haha. Our needs those days divided us back then but our personalities have made us friends for 11 years now!

2. In 3 sentences, how do you see her now?

Samantha said:
“Now… well. I see her as a spectacular, determined woman and one of those friends and humans that supports you, challenges you, and really nurtures your soul. It’s difficult to say how I see her, because more than see, I feel her, I know her, I grow with her. Our time together in the past weeks has also transformed our bond for me.”

Maria said:
“She is one of my best friends in the world and one of the best things that ever happened in my life. Being always curious about everything, hungry for adventure, non-stop eyes opening she naturally became an ingredient of my everyday life needs, without which life makes no sense anymore. “

3. Why are you still friends – what held the friendship together?

Samantha said:
“I think there is no rational answer to this. I know that we are soul friends, past that first impression, I always felt we had known each other forever. Our mutual admiration, the enjoyment of each other’s energy and contagious enthusiasm for life, our natural loyalty as friends always pulled us back to each other, and our never-ending curiosity were also some of the glue that held us together. I think we knew that no matter how much time passed, we knew nothing would ever change. Basially, there is a point friends pass where they become like family. Where you know they will always be there, no matter what.”

Maria said:
“Challenging ourselves with different topics and life perspectives are the main reasons. We’re very similar and different at the same time. It’s a must to have a person with different personality who you admire to be able to understand people’s nature more clearly. But above all I trust her more than I trust myself in way too many things haha. I also think that we both have this ability for unconditional acceptance towards each other. That definitely means something to me. Transparency is our key to successful friendship. I’m not saying it’s always easy but we both believe the more transparent, more real. And is there something better than real friendship?”

4. Five words you associate with her.

Samantha said:

“Life, Intuition, Enjoyment, Enthusiasm, On Earth”

Maria said:

“The Self  (obviously haha), Curiosity, Love, Consciousness, Acceptance”

5. Is there anything in you that she triggers?

Samantha said:
“Tough one. The word “trigger” makes me think about not-so-good reactions (rather than positive ones). The strength and confidence in the way she expresses herself in some topics triggers my defensiveness, and self-questioning. It is very interesting because the same things happens to other people with me. Best mirror ever.”

Maria said:
“Inspiration and creativity and there is no better and more important things you can trigger in me – I hope my future husband will have these skills too haha. Einstein said creativity is the intelligence having fun what better thing can be triggered by a friend?”

6. How did she influence the Self that you are today?

Samantha said:
“Wow. This influence has is there, no doubt, but it has also been particularly present in the past weeks. She really creates a space where I can take myself less seriously, something I really really really appreciate. I feel a kind of unconditional love from her, that is strangely surprising to me for some reason. It’s like… unexpected. She’s had a big influence on how I perceive and relationships and friendships, and how I see myself in them. Also, since I see some of the ways that I am reflected in her, it somehow also makes me more comfortable with myself and gives me even more permission to be myself fully. Without feeling like it’s not enough, or it’s too much, or that I will hurt someone. The way she values authenticity so much is like almost an obligation for me to be extra authentic and myself above all else.
She also influenced the way I see conflict and the role and attitude I take when there is conflict.  I think there are ways she has influenced me that I am not consciously aware of, no doubt.”

Maria said:
“She made me more conscious of what I wanna be conscious about. She keeps spreading my mind and I’ll always be grateful for that. What’s most important she teaches me myself and it’s really good to just know what annoying traits you have 😉 hahaha nah kidding she sees some good in me too. Since I was a teenager she was always opening my eyes for new things, from different perspective, she fed my mind with interesting, triggering thoughts and topics. I always loved exploring new things with her in this natural, easy, funny way. After 10 years we still have our favourite game, which we call a Question Challenge haha. I can easily say she made me a better person, she influenced who I am today a lot and I will always be grateful for that because I like this person. It’s all about picking your bottles and she also taught me that. That made me a more balanced person because it helps me to manage my life in a better way. I was always bad in that, she was always better. Let’s see if the student suppresses the master.”

7. Why is doing the workshops with her extra awesome?

Samantha said:
“It really is EXTRA awesome with her, I am so excited! I think we both have a huge capacity and drive for self-exploration, we are both born investigators of the Self. We both have so much energy and enthusiasm, such an amazing tool box, mixed with some key differences to our personality and approach to life, and that creates an amazing synergy! Her fearlessness, risk-taking and enthusiasm fuels mine. And it feels that if we want to, there are no limits to what we can create. 
And my favorite thing of all, we are on a quest to know more. We learn with every interaction, every conversation, we push our limits and want to keep expanding, so I know anything I do with her will take us in this direction!”

Maria said:
“Because of the flow and energy we share work is a pure pleasure. We drive each other, motivate each other and respect each other. I feel that our minds put together are unstoppable, full of creativity and huge potential for giving to the world something that is not there yet. We both have a massive need and desire to make it easier for people to get to know themselves in a natural, fun, exciting, curious way and make them believe that more you know yourself, more pleasurable your life is for you. We believe in innovative, fresh, new and true. In that way we want to create something that will inspire others. Some people say never mix friendship with business, we say don’t do it if you re not self aware enough.”

We want to meet you at our workshops and events!

One day in a classic change-the-world-conversation, as usually happens with, I told my friend it all boiled down to self-knowledge and self-love.

And he replied “Well, but you have to be careful with loving yourself too much, that’s not good.” And I was puzzled. It wouldn’t be the last time someone had that reaction to self-love. 

I learned that some people related the word ‘self-love’ with narcissism, egoism and selfishness. I realized they were cautious and skeptical of the word.

But that really made me think. The real issue is with self-love, it’s with the word LOVE itself.

We use the word love everywhere all the time. I love ice cream. I love my bed. I love life. I love my dog. I love it when we laugh. I love my family. And ultimately, we relate the word ‘love’ with our closest partner.

We throw the word around all the time, in different contexts and referring to different degrees of liking, enjoying, and even being obsessed with something.

Ice cream gives you enjoyment, satisfaction and momentary happiness, but not really love. And if gives you a stomach ache, or its a flavor you don’t like it, your love will vanish. Your bed gives you peace and comfort. But when it starts getting old you’ll throw it out and replace it. 

It means something different to everyone. But few have really stopped to think what real love really is.

In relationships in the world today, we confuse love with many others things. Attachment. Infatuation. Attention. Possessiveness. Obsession. Commitment. Excitement. Butterflies. Need. Manipulation. Joy. 

I have news. None of those are love.

Love is not an emotion. Although, it can certainly make you feel certain emotions. You can be angry, confused, scared and still feel or have love. The word love has gone a long way from its real, true meaning. It is overused but not experienced enough.

Love is an energy. Love is the highest frequency.
Love is pure acceptance.
Love is trust.
Love is surrender. 
Love is not conditioned.
Love is humble.
Love is free. 
Love just is.

Think of your need to be in control. Do you want to change things that piss you off? Are you proud, or do you hold grudges? Are judging others all the time (and therefore constantly judging yourself)? Are you too caught up with what people will think, with your status or reputation? Are you entitled or spoiled?

Think of all the things inside you that don’t allow you to accept, to trust, to be humble, to be free.

Those are all the obstacles I am talking about.

To get to something so beautiful and so simple, we must peel off many many layers of obstacles that have been created against it. We must peel off fear, and greed and many of the thoughts and beliefs that stem from ego.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Rumi

It is a challenging task to do this. Facing the ego is indeed a noble and humbling task. The path to love is an ongoing one. In fact, love is much more a path, love is way, rather than a destination or a result. 

Although I understand how the concept of love we have today might cause confusion, no, you can’t love yourself too much. There is no such thing as “too much love.” 

Love yourself. Accept yourself fully. Trust yourself. Be humble about yourself. Free yourself.

That is real self-love.

This may be one of the most challenging and beautiful journeys you ever undertake. But certainly worth the ride.

The wise men, quotes and tales all told us everything boiled down to love. They were right.

And as all wisdom continues to prove, everything begins with the Self.